9 months....

Yesterday was a strange day, daddy and I just seemed very out of it and lost. I know it was a rough day for both of us. We miss you so much angel and wish that we could be together. One day we will but until that day comes, Jesus will take care of you. It all still feels so alien (its the only word I know that can describe it) like the world we now live in is not meant for us. Some days are better than others but some are far worse than anything we've experienced. We love you so much sweet baby. Jacen is getting bigger by the day it seems. I know you are taking very good care of him and we thank you very much for that. I only wish that we could see you both grow up together and play together and just be normal brothers. We miss you so much son and love you eternally. I know Shelby sure misses you but I know she sees you and plays with you often. This morning when I woke up I saw her sitting on the edge of the bed staring off at something above the closet I knew it was you, because she had that goofy " I see Big Boy" look on her face. :) I just layed there watching her because those visits are amazing and such a blessing. We love and miss you dearly sweet boy.

Love always,
Mommy