Thank you Franchesca!

Songs for peanut


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Monday, April 26, 2010

A sweet reminder....


I just wanted to say good morning my sweet boy. The other night as we were putting Jacen to bed I happened to look up and see this for us on the ceiling of his room. Sweet thing is it was on his birthday. It was a sweet reminder that you are around watching over us. I love you my darling.

Thank you....

Thank you Chris over at Treasure from my heart for my sweet boys name. I love it!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

23 months....

Does it ever stop hurting so much? In the 23 months you have been gone, each day that passes hasn't been any less painful than the day before it. Sure there are days that I don't cry anymore, but there are still days that I do. Today I have cried, I have asked why, I have wondered, I have ached and most of those are not any different than any other day. With each new thing that Jacen does, I see what you would have been doing at that age. Makes me ache even more for you. I try to understand that God has a purpose and try to understand that He has planned each of our lives out for us, before we ever even live it. But its hard to understand why our babies have to leave us. Its hard to understand why parents who abuse their babies are allowed to have them. Its hard to understand why those babies are allowed to stay here and endure such pain. I loved you and would have given my life for you, but you were taken away from me. WHY??? I wanted nothing but the very best for you. I would have shown you every day how much I loved you. I wanted to teach you about God and His ultimate sacrifice for us. Teaching you to be good to others and teaching you how to be kind to everyone. But yet you could not stay with me. I saw a little article today about a 5 month old baby who endured so much in the 5 months of her life than anyone should ever have to endure..ever. But yet her parents were allowed to have her, do these horrible things to her, cause her so much pain and then her pain was relieved by death. But her parents were allowed to get pregnant and keep her and did these things to her. Why? I know mommies who have been trying to get pregnant for years and cant and they would never do such horrible things to their babies, but they are not allowed for whatever reason to have children, but yet these monsters are. I just dont understand! 23 months and my arms ache unbelievably. Its excruciating and all I can do is whisper your name.

I love you more than life itself my sweet son. I miss you every day, every moment with every breath. Thank you for being with us and with your brother, he loves talking to you and I love knowing that its you he is talking with. I love seeing you together even if you arent in the flesh. I love you!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Just thoughts....

"You were knitted together in my inner most being"
Now you knit me together with your love and your presence.

"For you are fearfully and wonderfully made"
You certainly are, and I would do it again in a heartbeat even if it came to the same outcome....it would be one more time that I get to see you and hold you and tell you how much I love you.

Life will never be the same. No pregnancy following you will ever be the same. Nothing will ever be the same. You helped get Jacen here and showed me how beautiful life still is. I can not imagine life without either one of you.

I love you.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Please Pray...

A good friend of mines son who turned 1 today is in the hospital. The doctors do not know what is wrong with him. They thought it was a staph infection in his blood but now they are thinking its something with his immune system along with other possibilities . Please pray for this little man, He unfortunately has to spend his 1st birthday in the hospital.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Thank you, Lisette.



Thank you for thinking of our Angels on this special day.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Jay's Pendant...

Thank you Heather!! I received it in the mail today and I absolutely love love love it!!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter...



Hello my sweet baby. I hope you are having a wonderful Easter, matter of fact I know you are. I can just picture you sitting on Jesus' lap along with all the other angel babies, while He tells of His life. We have missed you very much. We are so very blessed to have you in our lives even if you are in heaven. We are very thankful for the short time that we did have with you and thankful for your little brother.

We bought you an Easter bunny and just wanted to show it to you.

We love you very much precious baby and miss you dearly.

Friday, April 2, 2010

October 15th Video (Baby Jay is in this one)....

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