Thank you Franchesca!

Songs for peanut

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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

May is coming...

May is coming near. I have no clue yet what I am going to do for Jay's 3rd birthday. I cant believe he will be 3! I think maybe something quiet and at the beach, with some candlelight and cake. Just listening to the ocean, and the songs that remind me of him. 

This year feels so strange for me. I feel like this all happened in another lifetime. The pain and missing are still a constant companion of mine, yet grief feels so strange. 

I still wonder daily who he would be today and what he would look like. How big he would be. Or what his personality would be like. 

There are still so many questions that run through my mind that will be left unanswered, but I have learned to live with that. I am not God and I am not to question God. But sometimes I just want an answer! In time.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

No where to run.....

No where to run
No where to hide

From the pain that is this life
From the grief that swallows me up
From the pain of seeing a brother play without his big brother

No where to run
No where to hide

From the nightmares
From the visions
From the "could have beens"

No one to explain
No one to answer
No reason to be seen

Why a life was made so short
Why a nightmare became reality
Why we are made to just continue on

No where to run
No where to hide

October 15th Video (Baby Jay is in this one)....


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