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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

May is coming...

May is coming near. I have no clue yet what I am going to do for Jay's 3rd birthday. I cant believe he will be 3! I think maybe something quiet and at the beach, with some candlelight and cake. Just listening to the ocean, and the songs that remind me of him. 

This year feels so strange for me. I feel like this all happened in another lifetime. The pain and missing are still a constant companion of mine, yet grief feels so strange. 

I still wonder daily who he would be today and what he would look like. How big he would be. Or what his personality would be like. 

There are still so many questions that run through my mind that will be left unanswered, but I have learned to live with that. I am not God and I am not to question God. But sometimes I just want an answer! In time.


2 comments:

Jessica said...

I wish we all had answers as to why! *hugs*

Holly said...

I'm sure whatever you decide to do will be perfect and wonderful for your family. I know I still think everyday what she would be like.

October 15th Video (Baby Jay is in this one)....

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