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Sunday, July 27, 2008

Our Story

We began a beautiful journey in September of 2007 when we found out we were expecting our first child. We were so very excited to finally become parents. When we found out we were having a beautiful boy we were more excited. Jay already knew that his son would be named after him and his father, there was no arguing about that. So there we were waiting for our sweet baby jay to come into this world where no parent ever thinks of the unthinkable. We had his room all set up for him, all done just waiting. Then the wait is over, just like that in the blink of an eye all of our hopes and dreams are shattered. May 15th, 2008 at 12:30am I wake up to contractions all I keep thinking is this isnt supposed to be happening yet...he isnt due until June 5th. But my excitement grows at the thought of him being here a few weeks early. I wake Jay up and tell him we need to go to the hospital. We grab our bags and jump in the car and head to the hospital. Once we get there the nurse is checking me out to see how far along I am, then starts hooking me up to all the monitors. She tells us the baby has a good heartbeat, well then she starts comparing my pulse to the baby's heartbeat and realizes that they are the same. So after about half an hour of trying to find the baby's heartbeat she calls in her supervisor who tries to find it. They then call my doctor. By this time I can feel something is wrong. No one has said anything to us about what's going on, but I already know it's the worst. My doctor has them do an emergency Ultrasound to confirm our worst fears. There it is...right there on the ultrasound the thing I had been fearing the most, no heartbeat. My heart stopped. I could not believe just the morning before I felt him moving and everything was fine, but this morning he is just gone. I wanted to die. My doctor comes in and tells us he has died and that as of yet they didn't know why, but that we could do an autopsy to find the cause. Jay and I just did not feel that we could not put our son through that. We declined to do an autopsy but were going to have the chromosomal test done. We had opted for a c-section because the thought of going through a vaginal delivery just broke my heart even more knowing that at the end of that painful journey my son would not be coming to me alive. Well God had different plans for us, several hours later my contractions became stronger and at 8:20pm on May 15th, 2008 I delivered our precious baby Jay. We then knew what went so wrong that took our precious son's life. Jay's umbilical cord was twisted so bad at his belly button it was the size of the tip of a pen. The doctor was surprised that it had become that twisted, and told us that this type of umbilical cord accident was so rare and that the chances of this happening again was very slim. We only got to hold our son for a very short time, but he is thought about and loved every moment of everyday. I can not begin to tell you the heartache that we go through just to make it through a day. After leaving the hospital we began researching to find out what is being done about umbilical cord accidents and we have found that as of yet only one precious doctor is trying his hardest to help but he is only one man in a world where umbilical cord accidents happen more than many doctors believe. To know afterward that there were things that could have saved him is heart wrenching and painful to live with. I should be holding my son today but instead I have to accept the fact that he is gone from us. We will try again but I at times I can only think about what if it happens again? What will we do? It's just not fair that babies die and leave parents feeling empty and lost and all of our questions left unanswered. WHY?? We are parents just a different type of parent, we are the parents of an Angel. We are honored yet saddened. But in time we will be with our precious son again. We miss you and think about you often, son.We love you always.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

4 comments:

Travelwahine said...

Oh gosh, we both delivered our angels the same time. I delivered my sweet baby Ethan May 23rd. He also died as a result of a cord accident. He was 32 weeks.

I'm sorry for the loss of your peanut. No parent should ever have to endure this pain.

We will be contacting Dr. Collins when we are pregnant, hopefully we will be blessed again.

Crystal and Billy said...

I am so sorry to hear that. Our baby was born this past December, and the chord was wrapped around her neck twice. She was healthy soon after, but passed away from SIDS a month ago today. It's hard to lose our little ones, no matter when. But you are right; we will see them again.

Kristin said...

Our son River died of a velamentous cord insertion at 38 weeks. Losing him was devastating. My heart goes out to you and your family. Sending birthday wishes to Heaven. I saw his cupcake on Crystal's website...

Jenna said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I found your story on "I am the face". My Daughter's umblical cord was the same as your sons, twisted so bad at the belly button that she didn't stand a chance. :( The only answer that I can get from any Dr about it, is that it is rare and wont happen again. I wish I had more answers

October 15th Video (Baby Jay is in this one)....

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