Well 2010 has come and gone, my baby boy has been gone for 2 years 7 months. Its hard to believe that 2 years 7 months ago this precious angel entered my life and in the blink of an eye he was taken from my very body without me knowing it. I loved this child, I wanted this child, I did nothing to harm him in any way and never dreamed of it. I still love this child, I still want this child and I still would do nothing to harm him in any way. I am saddened that there are mothers in this world who are graced with God's love and goodness by bearing his children and harm them and treat them bad and do not love them. I am saddened that sometimes these babies have to endure pain from their parents that no one should ever have to. I am saddened that my son died and I would have NEVER dreamed of hurting him in any way, but yet I was not allowed to keep him. I still can't ponder this question without getting upset.
To hold your child in your arms for the last time and know that you will never see him again is heart wrenching and painful. There are so many emotions that go through you. Some of you know exactly how this feels and what I am talking about. Some of you do not, but you have seen it first hand. You see the effects it has on a person, on a mother, a father, on a family. The effects of losing a child at any stage or age is heartbreaking. Its never an easy path to travel, to be honest its downright HARD and sometimes unbearable.
2009 brought to us the most precious gift after losing our first son. It brought us Jacen. 2010 we saw the beautiful person Jacen has become. The end of 2010 brought us more great news that we will be having another little person joining our family of 4 soon. I can not wait to see what 2011 has in store for our family. I pray that God shines on us once again and brings this little pea safely to us in August.
May you all have a beautifully blessed New Year and may it bring wonderful things to you and your family.
Grief vs. Mourning
4 years ago
