27 long months without you......

Everyday is still the same, painful. I can't believe 27 months have come and gone. I can't believe this pain still is as strong as it was the moment I found out you were gone. Everyone says "it gets easier as time goes by..." I don't believe it, 2 years and 3 months later and it still feels like I am hit by a truck every morning when I wake up and remember "its not a dream, my son really is dead" All of the "what if's" and "could have beens" and "should bes" still follow me daily.

I look at that sweet little boy you saved almost 16 months ago and smile because you are my son and that wonderful thing you did was and still is amazing. Many don't believe me, some have even told me I need to seek help. But no doctor or amount of help would matter, because I am not sick. I don't know why it is so hard for some people to believe that angels come to do God's work and save people daily. Just because we can't see them doesn't mean they aren't there.

I am in waiting now, waiting for the day when I get to see your beautiful face again. I am waiting for the moment to hold you again. I am waiting to see your beautiful smile, and hear your wonderful laugh, and see you playing with the other children who live in Heaven. I am waiting....

I think about you everyday, every moment and think to myself "how could this have happened?" But I know God had a higher plan for your life and I have to accept that, some days I do and others I find it hard to do.

I love you and miss you so much.