Thursday, November 20, 2008
Hello sweet angel, I'm sorry I have not written to you in awhile. Know that I think about you everyday. Me and daddy came to visit you last saturday it was very peaceful just to sit and talk with you. I know you have changed my life so much and in so many ways. I feel that I have finally accepted that you had to go and be with Jesus and I am so happy for you, I will be there one day with you. Mommy loves you and will always love you. I will never forget you. Seems that every time we have an appointment coming up I always have nightmares the few nights before, sometimes they seem to take me over and I can not help but run to the doctors office to make sure your little brother is alright. They are so scary and hard to just pass off as "mommy is worried and scared" sometimes they feel so real, I wake up sometimes on the verge of screaming and wanting to run away. But when I look at your picture it always comforts me back to a peaceful sleep. I havent sent you any balloons yet but I am on saturday, so be ready for them. Sorry my thoughts seem so random, I just write whatever comes to mind. I love you my precious son.
at 8:18 PM