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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Real love and real friends....

I know I know I have been on this "friends" thing. But I am still reading my "Grace for the moment" book and I keep finding these verses that just speak to me.

This one just really hit home for me: "Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15

For mommies who have lost babies this is a really hard thing to do. "rejoice with those who rejoice." When another mom is pregnant or we see someone walking down the street that we do not know and they are pregnant, sometimes we find ourselves hurt again, some even bitter that this person is carrying a child and might be totally oblivious to child loss. While here we are suffering and hurting for our children who did not make into this world or get to stay in this world very long.

I personally did not have this issue after losing Jay. I never really thought about it. I did have thoughts run through my mind like: "I hope she is kick counting" or "I wonder if she knows about kick counting" or "I hope her baby makes it safely into this world." Whenever I found out friends where pregnant after losing Jay I was completely happy for them. I never felt that they were trying to hurt me. Of course there were many times I felt sorry for us because of what we didnt have anymore. And times I thought "why me? why couldnt my son stay here" But I was never bitter towards them.

"Weep with those who weep" this part doesnt come easy to some after the first couple of months of grieving. I say that because to those outside of the babyloss community, after a couple of months some people(not all)a expect us to "be over it" even though we know that will never happen. True love and true friendship will never expect that of us. That is an impossible expectation.

The first couple months after losing Jay, I had co-workers just sit and cry with me and listen to me talk about him. Others if they saw me coming would turn the other way and almost run to avoid me. I felt so alone. True friends will love you no matter what has happened or happening in your life. Unfortunately during your most difficult times in life you will come to find who your true and loving friends are, and you will gain friends you never expected.

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep" Romans 12:15

Is there a moment when this verse became reality in your life?

For me a co-worker became pregnant and we were ecstatic for her, then at 16 weeks she miscarried and we cried together. Shared stories about our sons and laughed at the silly things we did and thought during pregnancy.

1 comment:

Holly said...

I do think it is important to rejoice and weep with others when they need it. It's important for people to feel a connection with someone else in their joys and trials.

October 15th Video (Baby Jay is in this one)....


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